Nicolas Cage’s ‘The Surfer’ Is One Summer Bummer

The opening credit materializes over a beach and declares “Nicolas Cage is The Surfer.”

For a few seconds, we’re toyed with the idea of what that credit promises: Cage hanging ten and shredding waves (a return to his years as a Spicoli bud?). Or, at the very least, playing a lifeguard or the equivalent of The Dude?

Instead, director Lorcan Finnegan’s sun-soaked but dark-hearted Aussie neo-noir drama has Cage playing an American returning to the Australian shore of his youth.

Cage’s dreamer-turned-failure-of-a-dad (the credits only identify him as The Surfer) tries to bring his son to the beach where his life once held so much promise. The father and son are quickly harassed and threatened by those who declare the beach as a Locals Only destination.

Cage’s middle-aged Surfer is not only determined to return to the sparkling waves in the distance but is also planning to buy a property that overlooks the beach. A big obstacle in his way is the menacing head of a local cult that lives on the beach, played by Julian McMahon in an excellent performance.

Most of “The Surfer” consists of Cage stumbling around, beaten and dehydrated, begging to be heard and dealt with, only for him to be either physically or psychologically beaten down, again and again. If that doesn’t sound like fun, believe me, it’s not.

I like that Finnegan is presenting an eccentric vision and there is much appreciated dark humor and some unexpected touches in the third act (more on that later) but most of “The Surfer” is a tedious, unpleasant endurance test.

Imagine “Straw Dogs” (1971) set on an Australian beach, or a low budget surf n’ sand variation on “Mad Max: Fury Road” (2015), with the antagonists coming across like members of Immortan Joe’s ride or die death cult.
The movie “The Surfer” reminded me of the most is Oliver Stone’s hilarious and horrifying “U-Turn” (1997), in which Sean Penn spends two hours walking around a small town, immersing himself in film noir conventions, while the environment chips away at him.

“U-Turn” is still impactful and has character vignettes and comedic interludes that are not only welcome but inventive. Here, watching Cage, his character battered and worn down for most of the running time, being assaulted and left for dead, again and again, is utterly redundant.

There’s a montage of Cage, at his most desperate and starved, eating the most disgusting things he can find. Watching Cage, who I’ve been a fan of since “Peggy Sue Got Married” (1986), drop down on all fours and slurp water from a dirty puddle made me want to bail on this altogether.

Thankfully, there’s a welcome narrative switch up in the late going, when I finally couldn’t get ahead of the screenplay. As much as the third act embraces psychedelic imagery and wacky brutality (yes, that’s a thing and this movie has lots of it), the wrap up isn’t enough to elevate what a chore this is to sit through.

Perhaps a cult following will materialize but seriously – Cage’s work, as always, is really something to behold here. He’s been in so many better movies, as well as neo noirs that are far more effective. Ridley Scott’s “Matchstick Men” (2003) comes to mind quickly, as does John Dahl’s “Red Rock West” (1993) and Brian De Palma’s “Snake Eyes” (1998).

Cage’s creative comeback is no joke (his “Sorcerer’s Apprentice”-era slump is long behind all of us) but “The Surfer” is more a worthy challenge for him, an admirably try-anything actor, than us, his fanbase who deserve better.

McMahon’s exceptional performance as a charismatic but loathsome figure and the beautiful cinematography are chief assets. Perhaps this might be a gas to watch with a rowdy midnight movie audience. That said, I wish I could have seen the reaction from the audience at last year’s Cannes Film Festival, when this off-putting patience tester premiered alongside the likes of “Anora,” “The Shrouds” and “Megalopolis” (what a weird year for Cannes!)

I’m being completely serious about this – if I have to sit through a movie in which Cage is pushed to the edge and battered down by an all-seeing and powerful cult, I’d rather rewatch “The Wicker Man” (2006).

One and a Half Stars

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