And Just Like That’s Nicole Ari Parker Talks Beginning Again After 50
Once upon a time, actresses past a certain age were forced to accept small, dull background roles. Their best years were behind them, right? Thank goodness those days are over — and if you want living proof of that, here’s Nicole Ari Parker.
The 54-year-old’s career has never been hotter, starting with her role as vibrant Lisa Todd Wexley on the Sex and the City spinoff And Just Like That… (HBO Max, May 29, 9 p.m.). Looking back, there’s the critically adored film Boogie Nights (1997), Remember the Titans (2000) opposite Denzel Washington, the Showtime drama Soul Food (2000–04) — on which she met actor husband Boris Kodjoe (Code Black, Station 19) — and three seasons on Empire (2017–20). Last year, she won a Lead Actress Audelco Award for The Refuge Plays off Broadway. Ahead: DC Studios’ live-action drama Lanterns.
Parker’s personal life is flourishing as well, including an exciting cross-country move with her husband of two decades, 52. “It’s going to be so fun,” she told Us Weekly two weeks after arriving in NYC as an official full-time resident. “I’m going to wear him out!”
Their kids, Sophie, 20, and Nicolas, 18, are thriving, too: Sophie attends Howard University in Washington, D.C., and Nico plays pro basketball in Germany. Despite her empty nest, when Us caught up with Parker, who posed for the photo shoot at NYC restaurant Reyna, her enthusiasm and joie de vivre were infectious. She is grabbing life with both hands and making the most of her fresh start in the city that never sleeps. Here, she tells Us about “geeking out” over AJLT’s Sarah Jessica Parker, the secret to her long, happy marriage and why “no” is simply not an option.
You’ve lived in NYC before but moved to the West Coast. Tell Us about this 3,000-mile relocation!
I went to NYU, so I lived here for 13 years, but I met my husband in Toronto on Soul Food, and I decided to move to California after that. We [also] lived in Atlanta for three years. So I’d been in L.A. for 20 years minus three. Wow.
Was it hard to close that chapter?
I have amazing friends there, and we lived by the beach — you can’t complain — but I’m from Baltimore. I’m the East Coast city girl. I was the one in the family that was like, “New York!” I let it go and didn’t bring it up anymore. Then my husband came in the room and said, “Hey, I think it’s time.”
Victory!
I asked no questions. I had three suitcases packed, a car full of boxes from Home Depot. The “For Sale” sign was out the next day. We had four offers immediately, but part of that is [due to] all the loss that happened with the fires. A family needed a place right away, so I’m glad our house went to someone who needed it.
Nicole Ari Parker Teases ‘Exciting Stuff’ for ‘And Just Like That’
What’s New York Nicole like?
I walk everywhere. Like, why are my clothes loose right now? I look at my phone, and it’s 12,000 steps one day, 15,000, 8,000. I’m a pedestrian: I hit the pavement, and I go all day.
You feel like you’re home again?
Yes! Everything is exciting. It’s weirdly old-fashioned. I walk somewhere, I see someone, I stop in a store. It feels like community. I’m back.
Sounds like you’re on top, personally and professionally.
Any actor will tell you it’s always exciting when you’re working. I love what I do, I love to work, and I’m really happy. To be able to do theater as well — it’s my dream situation.
There has been a perception that actresses don’t work after a certain age. Has that been a worry for you?
No. And we say that, but every job I’ve had, there’s been a grown-up woman who’s the executive producer, a grown-up woman who is running the studio or an executive there, the director of the particular show or episode. I’ve never been in a situation where I felt thwarted, slighted or held back.
Is this still evolving?
It’s not that it’s changing; it’s changed. It’s normal. I’m in that zone of time of remembering other actors saying that, but as soon as I really got in my stride, the industry was changing.
Only thing, though, I get a lot of calls to be somebody’s mama, and I’m just like, OK, I know that I actually am someone’s mom, but I don’t necessarily get a lot of calls [for roles as] the president, although in my house, I’m the president. I’m playing someone’s mom this summer.
Right, you’re in HBO’s Lanterns with Aaron Pierre and Kyle Chandler, a superhero story based on DC Comics’ Green Lantern. What can you tell Us?
It’s very top-secret. I did the math on playing [the Pierre character’s] mom: I had him at 20, which is possible. I’m excited. It’s such a classic DC character, and my kids are very happy about that.
Nicole Ari Parker Reveals Her Biggest ‘Challenge’ as a Parent
Have they taken an interest in your career and Boris’ — or are you just Mom and Dad to them?
We’re just Mom and Dad. Sometimes we drag them to the fun stuff, parties, and they have a good time, but their life at home is really normal, and they do the laundry. My son’s an athlete, and he knows how to get that dirty gym bag off the floor.
And they’re both grown and out of the house, correct?
My son’s playing with Munich right now. My daughter is ending her sophomore year at Howard, but she got an internship in New York City, so she’s going to be living with Mommy.
How does it feel to be an empty nester?
I don’t even know — they’re not gone. I talk to them every day. I’m solving issues every day. I’m totally still Mommy. It’s a beautiful time.
How would you describe yourself and Boris as parents?
My husband is the kind of dad who is exactly the way he looks: a man of few words, don’t mess around. Also [he] kind of makes you feel bad before he can. He’s going to leave you with your own sense of right and wrong. Not me.
How are you different?
I’m old-fashioned. I was definitely the dramatic mom who didn’t play any games, because I’m raised by parents born in the ’40s, so by the time they were parents, it was the ’70s. I know how to build things and take care of things. I had an iron and an ironing board when I went to college. I had a shoeshine box, too, because my dad wanted me to take care of my things.
I’m a very salt-of-the-earth kind of mom, and I wanted my kids to have some of that. I tried to make sure they wouldn’t freak out over life — that if anything came their way, they would know how to fix it. They wouldn’t get thrown or be knocked off their center. They’d be like, “Oh, I got this.”
And are they succeeding?
My daughter cooks at college; everybody comes over. My son is taking care of himself over [in Germany]. He knows how to cook, he’s teaching himself guitar. I’m really proud of them.
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Was there an instant connection when you and your husband met working on Soul Food?
He’s pretty breathtaking, gorgeous, but I was a bit of a snob. One night we were doing a scene, and his character was supposed to sexily lean me against a wall and kiss me. He was so nervous, adorable and shy. I took him behind the set, put my hands on his face and kissed him. I said, “That is how you kiss!” And then I fell in love.
When I was a kid, I was in love with everything French, but I said, “I’m not going to Paris until I meet the person I’m going to marry. I’m going to save Paris.” Most people save something else — I saved Paris. Boris took me there right after he proposed; six months later, I found out I was pregnant with Sophie. I was so happy.
You tied the knot May 21, 2005. What’s the secret to your long marriage?
You’ve got to be compatible. Have the hots for each other, like and love [your partner]. But even when all of that’s in place, there’s something about wanting to be married with children that’s a baseline, because it’s not for everybody. Same person every single day. Somebody calling you crying from the nurse’s office at school. In rough patches, we were like, “But I want to be married to you with this family for the rest of my life. I love this.” It gets hard, you get in ruts, you get sick of each other, but you find a way. So far, so good.
Your daughter was born with spina bifida. That must have been challenging.
Boris is from the woods where Hansel and Gretel grew up, where the Smurfs are from — a fairy-tale village [in Germany] — but he chopped the wood, carried the water. He knows how to build a house. And I have that strong, practical upbringing. Having a child with special needs, we went into “What is the practical version of this life, to make her life great?” Done. Got it. This medicine, this time of day, this amount of care during the night, this kind of food, this water intake, oh, we’re going to have to go to school every two and a half, three hours, to make sure she’s OK? One of us will do it. So now she’s a thriving, self-sufficient young woman, but it was no biggie.
Did it make you realize what a great team you were?
Yeah, and I think that’s… God, I’m going to cry. We’ve been through so much, and we built something together that I would never want to end.
So you’re saying that keeping things romantic after 20 years is not really a hardship…
He’s very romantic. We do a lot of romantic stuff, but I like easy romantic stuff. I might get new bedding, but I won’t necessarily go to a hotel — I make what we have nice. Or a new nightgown, shave my legs, this is romance! [Speaking to her husband] Oh, boy. You’re lucky tonight. [Laughs] This is what keeps it spicy.
Speaking of spicy, let’s talk about And Just Like That… Do you get recognized on the street?
People usually leave actors alone in New York, whether it’s Robert De Niro or Denzel Washington. But this show is 25 years old — well, it’s a new rendition — and it’s full fans that I’m blessed to even experience. This is the first time in New York that people cross the room to speak to me. I’m in my pajamas in Nordstrom trying to buy a blazer. It touches so many people that even New Yorkers want to talk about it!
What do people say?
“Oh, my God, that coat you had on in episode 3?” Full story of how they went everywhere, called the designer, it was discontinued, and they had only one in Paris. [Also] the shoes, the clothes, the bags. Even the throw pillows in the background of LTW’s house. “Now, what were those wineglasses I saw in your kitchen?”
Is there anything you can tease?
The writers aren’t letting up. Every year, I have to be deeper, funnier, sadder, more optimistic, sexier. It is everything.
Can’t wait! This seems like such a wonderful chapter in your life.
I’m in this place where the things I’ve learned from being told no and the passion I had to get better as an artist, I get to use it all. I can just do it. I feel really prepared for this phase, this journey I’m on.
For more on Parker, watch the exclusive video above and pick up the latest issue of Us Weekly — on newsstands now.
