How Lyle Menendez Helped Rosie O’Donnell After Her Child’s Autism Diagnosis

Rosie O’Donnell is incredibly grateful for the support she received from Lyle Menéndez after her 12-year-old child, Clay, was diagnosed with autism.

“He has helped me a lot. If it wasn’t for him, we wouldn’t have [my child’s service] dog,” O’Donnell recalled while speaking exclusively to Us Weekly about her Hulu documentary special Unleashing Hope: The Power of Service Dogs for Children With Autism. “While I was really trying to decide whether it was morally right for me to apply [for a service dog] he would say, ‘I’ve been talking to you for two years. I hear Clay every night.’ Because we shared a bed at the time and they would talk on the phone as well. He understood how challenging it can be and said, ‘This is something that will help them and will help you too.’”

O’Donnell credited Menéndez for his meaningful advice, adding, “He said, ‘If they don’t think that the dog is right for you or Clay, they won’t accept you.’ So I listened to him and I did it. If it hadn’t been for him, I wouldn’t have done it,” she explained. “Then all the healing that’s happened for my kid, which is really profound.”

After O’Donnell’s child, who was diagnosed in 2016, was paired with a service dog from Guide Dogs of America, there was immediate improvement.

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“Before we got the dog, there was talk in the school about whether or not they would be allowed to go next year because there were some behavior issues. That year we got the dog in February and by the end of the year, they were voted the most improved student,” she shared. “It was completely free. If you have an autistic child under the age of 12, you must apply because it will help your child and it will help your family.”

O’Donnell and Clay’s journey is featured in Hulu’s Unleashing Hope which is currently streaming. Amid Autism Awareness Month, O’Donnell was honored to use her platform to shine a light on the value of pairing children diagnosed with autism with therapy dogs.

“It’s been really a difficult but beautiful journey,” O’Donnell, who recently relocated to Ireland, told Us while recalling her immediate reaction when Clay was diagnosed. “I knew very much. I worked with Autism Speaks. I had seen many, many documentaries and even produced one called A Mother’s Courage. There was a familiarity there and there was something that felt familiar to me.”

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O’Donnell called the experience of bringing a dog into Clay’s life “very emotional,” saying, “You met other families in that same position. That’s why I wanted to make the documentary. I wanted to give other people the chance to experience all of that — and then to experience the amount of help that a service dog can bring your autistic child and your whole family.”

In addition to highlighting Guide Dogs of America, O’Donnell wanted to offer a glimpse at the support she received from Menéndez. (Lyle and his brother, Erik Menéndez, are currently serving their respective life sentences after being found guilty on two counts of first-degree murder. Lyle and Erik have both maintained that their mother and father were physically, emotionally and sexually abusive and that their actions were that of self-defense.)

“I would say that Lyle has one of the best records of any inmates ever in the California penal system in the last 40 years,” she told Us. “What he’s done and how he’s bettered himself and helped the community there within the prison. There are also people who write to him about being male survivors of sexual abuse and he’s one of the most loving and kind people that I’ve ever met. He helped me very much heal a lot of my own sort of trauma and mistrust of straight guys.”

O’Donnell noted that striking up a friendship with Lyle in 2022 allowed her to work through issues from her past.

“I realized through many years of therapy that this was an area I had to heal — and having sons really did help that as well,” she added. “But there’s something about a mother’s love for a son that’s different. That was different from what I needed to work on.”

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As Lyle and Erik continue to push for a resentencing after several TV projects put them back int the spotlight, O’Donnell has publicly supported them.

“I feel like they’re my brothers. I would do anything to help them. They know that when they’re out with whatever they need, I’ll gladly help them with. I trust them around my family. I have introduced them to my older children on the phone when we get to do FaceTime talks. This is a primary relationship in my life,” she explained. “I know that sounds strange to people. We have a similarity of souls and we understood each other. The fact that he has been in prison for 35 years, he has really worked very hard on knowing how to continue living with only a phone that interrupts you every 20 minutes. He knows how to sort of climb over all the barriers to humanity that prison places you in and go around it. That’s what he did with me in a very, very loving and supportive brotherly way.”

Unleashing Hope: The Power of Service Dogs for Children With Autism is available to stream now on Hulu.